Who are you?
Many career transition clients and employee conflict clients who have worked with me know I discuss the Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn response as ways of coping with stress, conflict, or threats. These responses get extra developed when we are young in response to a bad or difficult situation when we were growing up. We unconsciously choose these same responses as a default in our adult life. For example, many people when exploring a career change feel they don’t know what they want to do. They get stuck in the lateral logical step sideways in a career. However, after we 1. identifying these responses, 2. recognizing they stem from childhood then 3. seeing how these responses are playing out today and present as a lie and sabotaging them today in moving forward 4. the ideas start flowing. They unbury the ideas and career paths and passions and solutions they had all along. I hear “why didn’t I think of this before” and the answer is because we all listen too much to the lie of our inner critic and saboteur.
Ok getting back. Many people don’t know who they are because for a very long time they had to build up all these coping and protective measures to get through a childhood good or bad. By building up these protective measures, we slowly lose ourselves. Double down with people pleasers and perfectionists. So, if you ever said, “I like this” then someone said to you “that’s dumb” or sent a critical message you were wrong for liking that, then you unconsciously decided and internalized “I can’t let people know I like this because I will be criticized.” Keep unconsciously believing this for years and you have lost your way. You don’t know who you are only what others expect of you. I am here to say you are in there waiting to shine. Here is a tool for healing and getting to know yourself you can use towards a possible career interest if you develop it out or resolve that conflict issue. (I can help you) Simple yet very helpful. Write down all the things that you like in this way. “I may not know who I am, but I do know I like working with people (or I am finished working with people)” “I don’t know who I am, but I do know I like routine and predictability.” I don’t know who I am, but I do know I am a highly sensitive person and take on the emotions of others. Make a list. A picture of who you are will form. You will get a clearer view of who you are, what you want and don’t want for your future. Call me if you need help. Here is why a single call can move you forward.
I see you as completely capable and whole. I hear your inner critic and barriers, but I don’t listen to them as you do. I am free to brainstorm with you ideas, solutions, interests, and paths for you. I can help you see what is possible. Then give the tools to get you there. Always learning and helping others to find their way. Sharon Dolak Coaching Bravery